went to church as usual 2dae...execpt tt 2dae has been a horrible dae uptill now...
earli in e mornin my dad cum scoldin ppl...he sae i follow my mom's bad habits...i think he's being so damn insensitive in insulting 2wards my mom lor...wat an iditot...he sae i'm as slow as my mom...alwaes dilly dally...i realie feeli like telling him tt tts bcause he doesn't do anithing until late at nite or he as a toilet all to himself lor...cos me n my mom share toilet...so i use aft my mom...so obviously he'll b ready b4 me wad...den he scold me 4 being slow n stuffs...scold me nvm lor...oso scold my mom...like wth...wanna scold den scold me lar...scold my mom 4 wad...my mom's e one staying up late to iron clothes n do hsework while he's slping lor...as if he doesn't noe tt...he even scold my mom 4 wanting to stay up late...like hello...is he stupid or wad...dun stay up n do den do when...itz not as if my mom is hm all dae...she works too lor...[sigh]...he even scolded vulgarities lor...he f*** here, f*** there...can't stand him...i think he treat me n my mom like dirt...nv treasure us...taking us 4 granted...itz as if we r his maids...take stuff 4 him or do stuff 4 him is all should do de...dun even hv a "can u?" or "thank you"...hate my dad 4 all dis...alwaes finding waes n means to scold me n my mom...as if he nv do anithing wrong lidat...even if me n my mom nv do anithing wrong he oso sem to able to find fault wif us...when he comes hm see me not doing work...he sae i dun wanna study...den if he come hm seeing me doing work...he sae i slow...take so long still nv finish doing work...like wad e hell he wan lor...i dunno if i should be doing work in front of him or not...he's breaking up dis family...at least to me he is...even my mom's irritated...stressed...he's making me drift away...making me wanna leave even more...

past few daes at hm has been reallie sucky...like hving cold war...nid to watch wat i sae...do...stuff like tt...everything has been tense...dis reallie doesn't feel like my hm...i feel like a lost sheep...nowhere to go...no one to turn to...all i noe is tt if i onli could...i wld leave dis hse...leave dis world...wether 4 awhile or 4 good...as long as i can not come bac n face dis kinda treatment...dis kinda person...but dere r sum things tt i can't leave behind...ppl like my darling;grace,gui,jasmine,jie jie;pam n many other ppl...