raa n i today..trying to be lil kids again..haha..

i want a goal in my life...
i want a direction to run towards..
the first tear that fell since...
...my heart is hurting...

(13/07/07) When i'm bored in class..dis is wat i do..lolz..
kf in her "studying" mode..lolz..
raa n me..
jess, kf, raa, xiaolei.. =))
wat BIG eyes she has..oo scary..
raa in her disgusting mode.. eWW.. heh..

(18/07/07)The following is was happens when u put 3bored people in a room late at nite, rushing project..wahaha..

When weiwei gets locked outside the clubroom..dis is wat we do.. lolz..
guys are juz guys..the same thing happened to huanwei..waHAHA..
caught in action!! oh MY..
dun offend the QM..or u'll become a MF..haha..tsktsk..
eh?

the bugg caught me..
MCs agn..
i used to sorta like MCs,like missing skol..
but not any more..
NOPE..
[siGh]
i missed the last game..
damn i shld hv played..
all thnx to the bugg..
nxt game against SMU..
at TP..4pm..
i hope i can play...

i have a funny feeling in me..
i wierd, scared, alone kinda feeling..
wats gotten over me??
i wanna smile frm the bottom of my heart..

had trouble slping last nite..
its was such a torture.. =(
i kept slping, den waking..
and slping n waking..
cant i even get a good proper nite's rest??
damn..
den dis morning can wake up..
gt our of bed onli 12..
rched skol at 2plus for lecture..
..SIANZ..

aniwaes..
aft skol..blah blah..
den went dinner wif huanwei, weiwei, elvi ans jess..
at changi village..
while calvin, etc etc went for movie..
haha..
we had a great time..
at the hawker, got a HUGE beehive..
den the police were there..haha..
(mayb to arrest the bees for traspassing? or mayb not paying housing tax?)
den we had dinner..
minced meat noodles..
nasi lemak..
carrot cake..
stingray..
sugarcane juice..
coconut..
water chestnut..
limejuice..
YUMMIES.. =D
aft dinner, while waiting for elvi to draw money..
jess talked to a stranger..
asking her why she was touching a guy..
waHAHA..she thot tt gurl was me..
damn funny la..
den we found a damn big lizard in huanwei's car..
*!screams!*
yuppz..
aft i gathered myself n got into the car..
we sent weiwei home...
den we went hse visit..
his room damn cute la..
share wif sister..
got glass partition de..
yuppsz...
den we nearly left elvi at his hse..
wooho! lolz..
i was luffing so hard i knocked my head on weiwei's family's truck's rear mirror...haha..
as we were driving towards the expressway to send elvi n jess to outrum..huanwei took a wrong turn..
so in the end, i get to go hm first!! yayness..


bottom line..
thnx guys.. =)

many things gg thru my head today..
i think i'm abit retarded sia..
all my reactions are like LATE...
wats the problem wif me...
damn...
does it really take me so many damn days??
everytime i close my eyes, its u i see...
i keep listening to a particular song..
hoping it will help..
wishing it will help...
aniwae,
today's match was an improvement frm the previous 2..
against wolves, its 14-0..
against ITE, its 12-0...
against NUS, its 10-0...
i think everybody played well..
thnx to kf, boxbox,jianwei,gwen&ash,wenna&amy..
who came down on a earli rainy sunday morning..
to support us.. =)
sadly, i came back with MANY bruises..
2 bloody BIG blublacks frm blocking balls..
one on each leg..
even sia..
and i think i might hv sprained my right ankle..
its hurting like crazy..=(

tmr's match against NUS..at NTU..
so nervous..
i'm nt feeling too good..
both physically and emotionally..
why isnt there....
why cant i....
why do i....

40hrs without stepping onto my bed is no joke..
i feel like a walking zombie..
head pounding,legs wobbly..
so squished up by projects..
and yet i still hv to come back to face the nonsense in this house..
wtf is this... ...
he says i dun treat him like my dad...
she says i dun care abt her..
den who is there to care abt me??
den who is there to bother abt me??
fucked up..
wat did i do to deserve all this?
dun i even have the right to be tired?
gimme a break man..
just kill me...

played pool wif the guys today..
i din realise i was the onli girl there till we got to the lounge..haha..
aniwae, i won huanwei!!
haha..
tianwen,calvin,kokwei,damien were there too..
we all had fun.. =)
damien n kokwei were not bad..quite good..
we said they ah beng against ah beng.. lolz!
damn cheap la..
play at lounge..
1buck per game..
haha..
in the comfort of temasek poly..

projects drive me NUTS!!
raa hates it when i tie my hair like that..
i call it my crappy day..
she calls it my cranky day.. =(

charlotte can cook kae..haha..(believe it)
i'm invading wannie's fridge!! raHh..
charlotte can eat too.. =) (haha can too!)

Labels: MATCH AGAINST COMBINED ITE

the one who kept me going..
the one who was there by me thru my darkest times..

Labels: MY LOVE, MY SAVIOUR

my fav ice-cream..i think everybody should go try it..its really cool..
serangoon garden rawks!!!


see how they mixx the ingredients into the ice-cream?


yumm..
mine is ferreo+cookies&cream+violet crumble.. =))


the empty seat..

Labels: ICE-ROCK...TRY IT

okies..these are REALLY outdated pics..
but ya..
now den i got time to post..

look wat we saw at raffles city..lolz!

raa n me..=)

happy b'dae raa!!

Labels: OUTDATED...

i suddenly have dis feeling of irritated-ness in me..
juz feel kinda angry..
feel like shouting to the certain some one..
"juz piss off!! "
fucking hypocrite..
juz grow up k..
dun pretend to care when u dun really do..
dun try to ACT like an angel..

aniwae,
juz as i thot i made it thru yday's match w/o injury..
i realised my left knee is swollen.. =(
no bruise..
juz pain like hell n swollen.. -.-

today's score was 12-0...
but i feel good abt it..
i almost scored a goal tho..
but the keeper caught it.. [siGh]
but today my legs and ankle hurt like shit..
i spray the pain killer like free lidat..
every line change/break i spray..
if not i think my legs cannot make it sia..
den the ITE ppl push like siao lo..
heng i today siao siao, nv fall at all..haha..
esp. the butch(#34)..
keep pushing me..
den i push her back..haha..
at tt time, i was super irritated wif them..
but thinking back, it was fun.. =)
rough, but fun..
and i think we did a good job..
frm a 14-0, now it a 12-0... =)

great job girls!!

dis sat's match gona be worst than last week's..
combined ITE is SO MUCH ROUGHER...
i sure hope i come back in one piece...
-haiz-

FIXTURES
14july - vs Combined ITE(4pm) @TP
21july - vs NUS(12pm) @TSH
28july - vs Pinkies(12pm) @TP
4aug - vs SMU(4pm) @TP
11aug - vs One west superNOVA(2pm) @TP
2sep - vs Roadwarriors(6pm) @TSH
15sep - vs SimplyBlacks(12pm) @TP
22sep - vs S'pore Schools(2pm) @TP

drowning unhappiness in drinks.. .. ..

had our first match as "TP Gazelles"..
yesterday morning took a bus to skol..
as much as i din hv to mood to go..
as much as i din feel like going..
i still went..
the game started at 12..
first period was good..
we kept the score to 0-0...
nearing the end of the second period,
i fell..on my knees...
when i was presuring jess for the ball..
hurt damn bad..
the pain travelled up my tighs..
i immediately asked for a sub...
-haiz-
i rested for the line change and was back in again..
2nd period the seniors(Wolves United) started to score..
and i fell AGAIN...
this time it was badd...
i went on court for like 2 sconds,
den the ball came to me..
so of course i tried to shield it..
who knows,someone came charging towards me..
and i got pushed over the boards..
i flipped over and hit my butt,my shoulder and my head on the floor..and my ankle hooked on the boards la..
nearly died..
i laid there motionless..
period 2 the seniors kept scoring..
by the time it was period3, many of us were discouraged..
just as i thot i felt wasted enough,
i got slashed on my sheen...
damn la..f**king pain..
by the end of the game,i cld hardly walk.. -.-''
both my legs seriously painful..
esp both my knees and my right ankle..
miserable...

but generally i think the game was good..
good exposure for us..
the score ended wif 14-0..
haha..but we were nt affected by it..
cos all of us felt we did our best and we had fun..=)
next week will be even worst tho..
ITE is so much more rough and aggresive..
i think i'm gona come back a cripple.. -.-''

All that i see..
..sepia..

If i was falling,
would you catch me?
If i said i was cold,
would you provide warmth?
If the tears were falling,
would i feel comfort?
If i said i was leaving,
would you hold me back?

i miss ur huggs..
i miss ur smiles..
i miss ur energy..
i miss ur laughter...
i miss ur touch...
i miss you..i really do...
here i am..
today in class damn MALU...
smth happened..
the lecturer actually thot i was unwell n asked me to go home..
[siGh]
the tears just fell..and they cldn't stop..
aniwae today training was quite gd..
i'm quite nervous abt the match dis sat..

i feel totally wasted today..
the tears flodded my emotions, flooded my thots..
the swelling and puffiness blocked my sight..
almost din make it to skol today..
really din want to..
finally dragged myself there.
onli to realise i was late for my lab test..
obviously no mood for the test..
bloody screwed it up..
din do my titleblock AT ALL...
fucked it all up...
hung ard aft the test..
skipped ALL other classes....
no appetite, so din have lunch...
wasted more time ard skol since i had nth to do and nowhere to go..
i honestly feel like a walking corps...
aft parting wif jacjac n kf,
met up wif my ma..den come home...
din hv dinner...not hungry...

now here i am again..
wasting my time..
counting the seconds to the time i'm taken away to lala land and the light dawns upon me...

thnx kf,jacjac,jess,elvi..

A thunderous silencebreaks through my thoughts.
What was once many great ideas
is now a triumph, lost.
Baffling words tumble through my mind.
Reflections of darkness hover.
A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me,
and inside myself, I take cover.
What would it be like to stay there forever?
To be lost in all my cares?
From the inside, looking out
-I cry silent tears.