mama n papa dowan me liao...
+sniff sniff+
haha...
oh wells...
i woke up to an empty hse today....
turns out,parents went shopping wif e distant relatives...
so itz onli me;myself n i today...
left shoulder hurting like siao...
think i din slp properly yday tts y...
-haiz- e disadvantage of bad posture....
haha...i'm crapping....
ltr still muz go tutoring...
e kiddies are gg to hv math test today...
hope dey'll rmb all tt gui n i hv thot dem....
+fingers-crossed+
haha.....
dey had eng test last week....
i first time gif ppl oral....
so shuang....
hee....
yingkang got e lowest...so sad....


i betta go bathe liao...ltr cannot make it in time...
off i go...

nobody wanna pei me chuch camp...
so sadded...
i wanna go so bad...
i wanna go KL...
if can go....
i can take a break frm everything....
i realie need tt break...
but nobody to go wif me...
anybody interested to go wif me?...
-haiz-
i doubt so....
so sadded.......

juz came back frm jB...
went there for dinner...
feel as if i onli had a lobster for dinner...
cos like tts all i ate...
haha...
and dessert of cos...
*smiles*
aniwae....
i realize how much my dad doesn't noe me....
i bet he jolly well noe tt i cant sit at e last row of MPVs or wadeva.....
den he still make me sit...
in e end...
my head hurting like siao....
wth...so angry wif him...


skol was ok today...rather slack i wld say...ate pokey in class wif e teacher in front of me...haha...alisa was so amused tt i did it...hee...paisei lar,i hungry ma...haha....

ok...
went bishan aft skol...no money,so din eat...walked ard...looked ard...
den came back home...

guess wat...there's a bird in my hse...
itz huge and i'm so scared...
i'm freaking out la can...
stupid bird...fly in,dunno how to fly out...
worst thing is,all e windows are closed cos itz raining...
so unless i pick up e courage to go open window,itz nv getting out...
but e thing is, i dun dare....
*screams*
sumbody save me!!!...
scared until i wanna cry liao....

went to e library to study aft skol today.....
amk library is damn cold...
gosh....
was wif ahbu....
we did our lit...

we're both panicking...
exams start nxt week and both of us are not confident...
die....
i need a tutor....
badly....
anybody can hlp me??...
-haiz-
i wanna do well...
i realie do....

i'm xiao cong...
ahbu has becum chun cong....
haha...


got up dis morning wif my eyes all swelling n hurting...so din wear my contacts today...
eng was fun...said alot of tongue-twisters...math was ok...amath fine...chinese ok too...
ahbu came over today...cos itz monday agn...we made a blog...for juz e two of us...had lotsa luffs...joked ard alot alot...haha...

exams in 8days...
i need a tutor...veri urgently need a tutor...sumbody hlp me!!!!....i'm hopeless...
my back hurts...and so does my eyes...sumone tell me why...-haiz-...think i need a doc...but doc hate me,and i hate doc...

guess wat....
i hv officially becum....
a baby onion....
all thnx to adrian ng......
keep calling me shallot....
den he say shallot is baby onion.....
which will grow up to be spring onion.....
so funny lor can....
so now....
i'm a baby onion waiting to grow up to be a spring onion.....
haha....
aniwae...
adrian is realie funny....
i think he's like me n juv de big korkor lidat....
so zhao gu me n juv de......
he like a papa bear...
haha.....

had nDp dinner at last!!!
it was great fun i wld say....
haha.....
lotsa fun n lufter....
went marina south for steamboat.....
altogether got abt 16 of us....
mich,grace,jeanice,steff,pris..........
many more peeps there.....
had losta fun playing ard....
left realie late....
first time i can stay out till so late lor...
den went back wif ahbu,mich,jeanice,grace,ko n chew jiejie...[haha]
reached amk mrt.....
slacked at mrt upstairs wif mich n jeanice....
toked abt things.......
den i left for home.....
reached home abt 1130 le ba....

ok....
sec4 farewell is over.....
everything is over.....
now i feel so empty....
i feel as if i dun belong aniwhere animore....
realie wonder wat i'm gg to tell ppl when dey ask me wat CCA i'm in...
haha....
i'm gg to miss LOVE......
LOVE rulez....
i'm gg to miss all e great times we had in LOVE.....
i'm gg to miss all e great times we had in INVENTORY too....
[sigh]
i'm gg to miss gB....
well....
nxt LOVE platoon commander---michelle
nxt INVENTORY head---sheena

all e best gals!!!!
jiayou le......
i'm gona miss u guys so much......






aft everything sum of us went val's hse.....
had quite alot of fun there i wld say....
haha.....
watched dolphin bay....
sat down tgt.....
ate chips....
had drinks.....
was hving a great time....
realie felt e bond n frenship.....
*smiles*
how i wish everyday cld be like tt day.....

math was funny today....
our whole class spent 2 whole periods toking to mrs wong....
or rather complaining.....
haha....
well....
we were hving a fren to fren tok....
was so funny.....
complained abt alot of ppl....
alot of rules....
alot of things....
haha....
mrs wong is e best man....
haha....
i think my entire class will agree....
haha.....
she understands us lor can....
she oso got things to add to our complaints....
haha.....
we were luffing e whole 1hr n 10min lor....
in e end,no lesson....
haha....

aft skol did sum prezzies in skol wif ahbu n ying....
den went for dinner....
so many things happen aft tt....
but i too lazy to type....
-haiz-
all i can say is tt...
my heart almost stopped....
haha....

to you*:thnx for dinner and everything else....sorry for e trouble...*smiles*

had fun aft skol....
had lotsa fun n lufter....
we crapped alot....
had alot of fun rehearsing....
so funny.....
aft everything went h.mall wif ahbu n ying....
we bought invent prezzie....
so exciting....
den aft everything....
home sweet home....


dinner by myself tmr....
anybody wanna yue wo?...
haha..... ......
kiddin....

today is saddening.....
dunno y i feel so....
but juz saddening.....
whole day was dull for me...
amath in e morning....
slept in class during recess....
aft recess had 3 free periods....
den was falling aslp during math.....
chinese was toking session wif laoshi....
aft skol had lunch den headed back here....


**thank you for listening to me.....thnx for being my listening ear.....altho onli thru sms....but still.....thnx for e comfort.....thnx for being there....[u noe hu u are]**

met dyL n jiejie n ODV....
went hougang cut hair...
i've cut my hair short....
dunno if i regret it...
haha.....
aniwae...
aft tt went play pool....
or rather dey went to play n i watched...
haha....
i suck at it la can....
so damn long nv play liao.....
i'm totally rusty.....

my new haircut... [taken by pam...]
behind tt one is jiuma(pam's mum)....


effects... ....[taken by pam....]

mrs lum said a funny thing....
"den wat??? live on love and fresh air onli mere??"
her tone was funny....
haha....

today's a happy day.....
i'm done wif my practical!!!!
yay!!!....
haha....one burden off my shoulders.....
aft skol sec4s decided on smth special....
cihui,hester,mich,val,so many more ppl....
we had so much fun discussing...
haha...so exciting...
not much my idea tho...
haha....
aniwae....
itz gg to be to funny n fun...
haha....i cant wait....

got science prac exam dis week....
on thursday sumore....
bio i'm ok i think.....
but chem??!?!?!?!....
i'm so nervous.....
gosh....
sumbody hlp me calm down...
haha......
i'm so scared i cant do it....
i got no confidence....
how?!?!?!?...
scared i cant take down observations properly....
scared i cant cum up wif correct conclusions....
scared i do wrong?!?!?!?!....

ahbu came over agn....
itz monday once agn....
guess wat....
i'm hving a bad day....
today sucked....
i dunno y oso...
juz veri moody and sian e whole day....
van not in skol today...
cos she sick...
so gui came recess tgt wif me n ahbu.....
failed my amath agn....
ZERO...
one big egg...
stupid....
[sigh]
aniwae....
had math...
it was ok...
did quite well i wld say....
*smiles*
den got lit...
write essay...
but i got no mood to write...
hand in on fri....
den got gB meeting aft skol...
sum sq leader pissed me off...
so idiotic....
dunno how to hand in form properly de....
no sense of responsibility.....
so irritating...
count all e money,info and forms until i wanna go nutz liao....
luckily got jie hlp me...
*smiles*
okay....
today is officially a bad bad day....
i walk walk...
den see 2 ppl i hate to see e most....
at e same time sumore...
wL...
suay man...
-wadeva-
shall look on e bright side....

met dyL aft service at bishan...
she went to get sum stuff...
i got sum lil cute thingy for dyL n korkor...
to thank dem for yday...
den aft tt came my place....
tried to cum up wif smth for e dance....
ahbu came at abt 3+...
realized her skirt is damn short....
haha....
aniwae....
had lotsa luffs....
lotsa *diaoz* moments....
finally came up wif a lil smth...
dyL left to meet korkor i think....
den ahbu left abit ltr...
den i left too....
went changi for dinner...
bought another 2 tube pJs...
haha...
den home sweet home....


many thnx...

met dyl in e morning....
she msged me to ask if she cld cum by....
cos she got nowhere to go....
but dad say not too good idea....
cos hse is messy....
so he ask me go out meet her....
met her downstairs...
slacked ard amk....
had brunch at mos....
went to check my contacts....
den met korkor at amk mrt....
3 of us went to church to teach tuition....
cos today not enuff ppl....
so korkor n dyL came to hlp.....
i think e 2 of dem had fun wif e kids.....
or shld i say e kids had fun playing wif dem.....
literally....
haha.....
aniwae today was ok.....




many thnx....
korkor n dyl....sorry ar....so ma fan for e 2 of u....thnx for offering to hlp....realie appreciated....*smiles* i owe u 2 one....wun forget de....haha....

juz reached hm awhile ago...
so tired...


mufti day
went to skol in casual clothes...everyone in class had a party hat...whole class wore party hat for assembly...aft assembly went back to class,decided to re-tie my hair...tied it into 2 ponytails...ended up looking like sum lower-pri kid...aniwae...had PE...played bball...so long nv play liao...had fun...whole day can consider quite slack la...


GB
aft skol had gB...had prayer meeting den had rehearsal for enrolment parade...stand so long...hand n leg all numb liao...
good news...i'm now officially a DI...so happi...everyone in our coy hu went for e course all passed and became DIs...4th coy rawks man...13 DIs can...i think we break record liao...which is good...haa...i'm so happi for everyone...

congrats to:
wina`yanhui`teresa`yuen ming`komathi`
clarissa`angeline`breanna`deserie`sophia`
cheryl`qing ling

napfa test...
was rather good...
think i did ok...
onli pissed wif a certain bitch hu dun wanna count properly....
i did like over 20 and she onli counted like 16???
like wth....
such an ass....
there goes my A for tt part...
wad an idiot...
dun like her....
aniwae i think my other parts ok la...
acceptable to me....
aft everything...
went walk walk...
at e pasir malam opp skol...
bought dinner....
den headed home....




there's a word i took out of my dictionary sum time ago...i realized tt itz meaningless...i realized tt it does nth but bad stuff...even if it does good,itz onli temporial...no matter how much good tt cums out of it,e bad will juz crush it all...so i took it out...out of my dictionary,out of me...

ok...
i gotta say sorry to sumone...
n tt person is simin...
had chem prac today....
den dunno watz wrong wif me...
dunno wat i did wrong....
i spilled sum hot acid onto myself...
while heating e acid...
and sum splurted to simin there too....
tiok her too....
so sorry minny....
sorry....
i owe u one...

why muz everything be dug up again?!?!?!
everything i thot i had buried foreva....
all got dug up agn....
now i feel terrible....
i thot i was already numb to all dis....
nth affected me animore....
but hu noes....
when i was probed...
everything came back.....

supposedly had GOH prac today...
but i din do drill...
lent ahbu my mufti tee...
thot dey will doe sequence...
so stayed behind still...
in e end nv...
so sat there watch dem prac...
den went over to hlp wina...
aft everything got exco meeting...
short one...
regarding enrolment...
den came back...

went out...
walked ard...
in e peace of e nite...
i needed to escape frm reality...
sat at e swings...
looked up into e nite sky...
realized how beautiful e stars were...
memories flashed pass...
like photographs in my head...
so many things...
thot of many things...
thot of many ppl...
the tears fell ever so freely...
felt like a lost lil girl...
looking aimlessly for her parents...
sat there and wept....



came back...
nobody realized anything...
it suddenly struck me...
even if i din cum back...
nobody wld notice...
nobody wld bother...
i thot...
wat wld happen if i din cum back?

i dun hv words to my feelings...
i dunno...
all i can do is cry...
sat there and cried to myself...

cry...
and cry...
and cry...



is tt all i noe how to do now?
i cant find e words to my thots...
i'm juz so useless huh...
why cant i forget...
i'm juz such a weakling...
such a stupidly useless idiot...
where has the "backbone" tt i used to hv gone??
i'm juz a silly crybaby now...
nth but a silly crybaby...

leaders' conference today....
was quite ok i guess...
i dunno...
had quite alot of fun...
we did e funky chicken dance...
yup...
den we played sum games...
was abit betta den i thot i wld be...
ended earli too...
i stuck wif chiobu e whole day...
be n chiobu were buddies...
yup...
aft tt went for dinner wif family...
den went buy eye drops for my contacts...
den sent fidel home....
den walk her there de pasir malam...
bought cotton candy...
yup...
end of day...

i sat there...
in e dark...
stared into space...
unknowingly...
they fell...
blankie was wet...
suddenly so pain...
i oso dunno why...
i juz sat there n wept...
to myself...
in e cold of e nite...
in e darkness...
why??... ...

i'm cryign agn...
why do i still cry aft so long??...
i got no idea why....
i thot i had stopped all e nonsense...
crying so bad...
crying so much...

so sadded...
heart feels veri heavy...
getting emotional...
been asking myself today...
i dunno wat to do now...
wat i wanna do wif my life now...
aimlessly drifting fom day to day...

on mc today...
din go for sports day...
searching for blogskins...
cant find a damn nice one...
still searching...