okay..
i'm up n earli today...
lesson at 11 cos lab canceled...
but mum woke me up like at 7..
juz to ask me wat time i g to skol n tt itz raining...
-sianz-
i cant get back to slp le... =(
last nite, at like 12+...the canoe-polo person called me..i was like slping la..haha..so funny..i duno wat in e world he said, but i noe i said "yes" to everything...lolz..but aniwae, e trials is today..but i dun think i can go for it..cos i dun hv swimsuit...*sadded* so i guess i can wave goodbye to canoe-polo...oh wells..
okies..not very earli le..
meeting e girls at 10..
shall go bathe le...*waves*

today HCDE was very funny...
haha..
we measure each other's body parts...
super hilarious...
even hv to measure bust depth...
meaning frm e back to e bust...lolz..
den got arm breadth...den when measuring,look like titanic...lolz..see e guys do damn funny...luff non-stop...hahaha..

day3 of skol...
it has been all quite alright...
except today's WRTORAL...
-haiz-

tomorrow's my first day of skol...
-haiz- so nervous...my goodness...
aniwae,
i start skol at 9am on mondays,wednesdays and thrusdays..
i start at 12pm on tuesdays..
i end at 5pm on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays...
i end at 1pm on wednesdays....
and i hv no skol on friday!!! -grinz-
i sure hope dis new start in my life wld be good..hehe..so exciting..lolz..
i went shopping today tho..hee..to get skol stuff..ended e day wif
a pair of PONY shoes..
a pair of ADDIDAS SHOES..
a pair of KNICKERS sandals..
a BILLABONG pencilcase..
a mini fountainpen..
some new stationary..
HAHA...i'm like so broke now...my PONY shoes is ownself pay de..pencilcase i onli paid $4.40..hehe..zave paid e rest...hehe...thnx sweetie..-grinz-

I GOT INTO HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT(TP)

but i gave up the chance to stay in FDM...
-haiz-
i sure hope i made e right decision n wun regret it...
aniwaes, i think my course got very fun future ahead..trips to GENTING..trips to GOLD COAST...etc etc...so i dun think itz wrong for me to give up hospi la huh?...lolz...
+fingers-crossed+

-haiz-
din make it to church for choir on sunday..sadd..
cos i was sick..
food poisoning...
my goodness..
15 of us got it can...
church mummy in hospital somemore..
currently in pain, so i shant say too much..shall go lie down soon..[siGh]
aniwae, i'm now on liquid sugar diet..meaning i drink ribena n F&N grape...haha...
oh ya..1 other thing...
went arcade with zave tt day..
GUESS WAT.
i won her in every game tt we played...lolz..-grinz-
okok..
stomach reali hurting..
gotta go lie down le...
orientation tmr...(so nervous)
byee~

slacky day number2..
nth much to do today...
wanted to clear out my clothes cupboard and also to clear my study...but itz just so me to keep delaying and delaying...oopz...hee...
shall go do it soon...
yday nite was at central wif mum..
considering abt buying W800i...
i want it sooo bad...
i love the earphones...and i love the 512 card...and esp the camera...
why does tt MCP GUY just refuse to let me get it?!?!?! *screams* he jus wun let me get a better phone than him...he jus keep saying tt i duno wats gd and tt his fren noes all and i noe none...freak. when will he realise tt i'm not THAT little girl he knew animore..he noes none abt me n my life...all he ever thinks abt is himself...how great he is...
i hate him..
i dun understand him...such a jerk..

today is my first slacky day....
first after i ended work tt is....lolz...
my brain is a mess..
my heart is a mesh...
my life is rubbish.......
[siGh]
realised i'm actually a person with little or even no gutz at all...on e outside i seem to be brave,seem to be ignorant to ppl above me...but actually, my reali fears come from changes..and lonliness...stayed awake most of last nite, tossing n turning, wondering wat i'm doing with my life and wats to come in e future...being clueless scares me...-haiz-
i need a sign..
i need someone to lead me... ...

went to visit serene n adrian and little jenna today..*smiles* at mt E.
my goodness, she's such a cutie..
aft tt went chinatown with parents..
i almost got a W800i for onli 178bucks..
but all thanks to that "know all" MCP guy, i didn't get it...or rather couldn't get it..cos he says he has to go to work to ask his fren if itz a good phone...like wth..he think his fren is god ar..noe everything..den mum n me duno anything mere??? everytime say his fren how gd how gd..as if mum n me dumb de lidat...piss me n mum off...freak...nv even ask him to pay for me,he juz refused to let me buy it...IDIOT.
my heart is bleeding..tears are flowing... ...

see? my com...hehe..my name there is su
write for me de..cos i rote hers for her..haha..
the stickers on e keyboard is my shortcuts...lolz


pink stars- toggle
blue stars- clear screen
yellow diamond- quit/exit
orange diamond- view errors
smiley face- SAVE


dis is my durian cake frm my collegues...
so huge can..think got more than 1kg....
i was so shocked...lolz...su oso got one..=)


this is my airport pass..was so sadded when
i surrendered it today.. =( altho i think e foto
very ugly, but i still gona miss my pass..........


tts me n su....plus my manager..lolz....
her name is yvonne... she's such a nice person..
THE most dua person in my office..haha..
she's retiring soon tho..end of mth...
wow..so rich..can retire le..*xianMU*

finally...
my last day of work has arrived...hehe..-grinz-
i thot i wld be so happy tt today came..but turns out, i'm gona quite miss e ppl and stuffs there..the nice ppl..and games..and of cos, the gossips...lolz..haha...
i'm sure gona miss su...she gona stay on, but upstairs at SIN SALES...yupp..starting work on friday..for me, i'll stop for good for now of cos...haha..prepare for skol...
got so many things can..from my collegues...
so sweet of them...
lets see..
got durian cake(BIG WHOLE )
got a box of durian puffs(everybody)
got a box of eclares(everybody)
got a kitty mug(everybody)
got a box of rochers(everybody)
got an ang bao(aunty fongling)
got lunch frm denise(supervisor)
hehe..-grinz-
oh ya..den today breakfast treated by me n su...we got curry puffs and vadai frm e canteen...den got coffee&tea for e entire office...hehe...(see? we so gd..lolz..) den su made egg bread somemore...den i made chocolate cornflakes for everybody... =)
-haiz- i'm sure gona miss everybody...

i feel like screaming..
i feel like crying...
i feel like running away....
i'm drifting away,drifting apart...
i'm scared.... ....

i'm feeling scared...
i'm feeling afraid...
i realised i'm a person who doesn't like change..
my heart hurts, my eyes feel teary...
i hate silence, i hate being alone...
i'm feeling detached..
frm ppl
frm frenz
frm life..
i feel like someone's toy..a puppet..a thing...
doesn't anybody realise i hv feelings too?
i need space..
to breathe
to run
to live
i dun wanna be a caged bird animore...
i cant breathe..the walls are closing in on me..so tight...
i want my life back...
i hate all this pretense..
to them, itz as if nth's wrong and i'm perfectly fine..but actually, i'm crumbling inside...when will they ever wake up to the truth..and see wat they're doing to me...
this was nv a home from e begining...it has alwaes been a cage, to keep me in... ... ...

*sadd*
..tears..

saturday....
went church for tuition...
the kids were reali slack today..haha...
yday nite went KTVing wif jess and christine and march and peiling and elin and larisa and adrian and desmond.....
at police academy there...
the senior officer's mess...haha...
quite fun la...
reached hm abt 1030 le...