not in a veri gd mood 2day...
dunno y...juz feel lousy i guess...
mood swings...not gd...
[[sigh]]


a close fren of mine told me to learn to grow up...
and tt meant learning to cover up ur misery...
but does anione out there noe?
tt i am covering up any unhappiness?
everyone sees me as e happi happi de...
never get angry de...
juz all abt hving fun de...
is tt realie me?


i almost never ever show any unhappiness...
i dun bother to show ppl tt i'm unhappi wif him/her...
why? i'm not sure myself...
mayb cos i dun wanna make e other person unhappi?
itz like out of 2 ppl,one is already unhappi....
why make e other unhappi too?...
no point...

guess tts e moral of my story...
try not to show any anger...sadness...or depressing emotions...
all tt...can wait till i'm all alone in my room at nite...








[wheneva i'm unhappi or juz moody...i'll juz go take a look at e past entries on ur blog...dunno y...but most of e time,it cheers me up...mayb i'm juz nutz...*shrugs*]
[used to see my name appear on **** **** veri often...but now...it almost never appears...wad does tt mean? oh wells...i'm juz being petty i guess...not in a good mood 2day...]

juz came back frm holiday.....
bored...stayed at hm...
slacker...

heard e door bell juz now...thot it was you...
scared me...
turned out to be onli e postman...
feel sorta disappointed...dunno why...
juz feel tt way....



















nah...i'm onli kiddin...
gosh...i'm lame...

i'm back frm camp le...
gosh...4 days sure was a long long time...
but i was lotsa fun...
brief view of my past 4 days...

:::day 1:::
assembled in skol at 8...left e hse n picked ying up frm her hse n headed to skol...on e way there,realised tt i 4got to bring apples for games on campfire nite...so went to market to buy...haha...blur me...den arrived in skol...at first brought slping bag de...den in e end decided not to bring...so got daddy to u-turn back n take frm me to bring back home...
had briefing...den got bag inspection...my sweet kena confiscated my ms ho...damn it man...-wadeva-...den we all changed into tee+shorts+slippers...got up e bus n headed for kallang sea sports club...we did kayaking there...for e whole day...frm morning...until 6...it was damn fun...at first paired wif fran..but she in e middle sick...so paired wif ms seah...den aft tt paired wif pui...tell u...me n pui make a great pair....haha...we at first started off last...cos we dun wanna rush wif every1 else..so waited for evey1 to go off first...den we paddle n paddle...n ended 2nd....haha...kewl huh?...-grinz-...kayak-ed for veri long dist...considering wat we did for alpha camp la...haha...went all e way to aft sheers bridge there...near open sea...den water veri choppy...e whole entire day was realie fun...aft bathing den headed to gb/bb campsite...there not as bad as i thot...got rather nice beds...rather clean toilets...ok la...settled down for dinner...aft dinner got games...jac n ying got in-charge...part at least...haha...aft dinner den lights out le...

cldn't slp e entire nite...cos hand pain...pulled my muscle i think...swollen...pain until i cried man...-haiz-


:::day 2:::
got up earli...got heritage trail n service learning...ate breakfast...den headed down to city hall for heritage trail...grp personel in-charge was angel n grace..haha...so many ppl xian mu us...yup...aniwae...we went to many places of interest...using clues n maps...some of em angel n grace gif us ans...so dun nid to go find e place...so tt,we all can makan our lunch...haha...had lunch at maxwell market...me n hester had chicken rice...aft lunch headed back to city hall den set off wif every1 else for service learning...went to 1 room flats to do CIP...was realie meaningful to me...seeing all those old ppl...got family but stay there cos dey abandon them...so poor thing...hlp them clean e hse...distribute food to them...michelle ask all of us to go tok to e old ppl...unfortunately,i onli noe hokkien...so michelle go ard,toking to all of them...hlp us test...den we go to those tt we can understand...haha...aniwae...tried toking to dis auntie....but she like dun wanna tok to me lidat...-haiz-...sadded...oh wells...aft everything got evaluation den went back to campsite...shower....dinner...den devotion...dis time round,devotion was reallie fun...i was leader...i had to lead my group ard...dey blind-folded...den at e end got dark room...so cold lor...i think it was veri scary for them..cos blind-folded...sumore e teachers n seniors keep on scaring them...crashing e drawers...banging e boxes...u name it...dey did it...haha...aniwae i think it was one of e fun-est devotion i've ever had so far....haha...den got ''time wif captain''...den ZZZZZ.........during e nite...me rote a lil letta for a special sum1*...shall decide whether to gif it to her or not...hehe...*winks*


:::day 3:::
got up...devotion...den got training kit 1...ms wong frm 2nd coy aka gelang methodist came to tok to us...she was realie nice n fun...she wanna treat us like fren...not as officer n NCO...1st speaker tt dun wan to stand n tok...or sit on chair...she sat on floor wif us...den she actually momorise all of our names n commitees lor can...all 35 of us...by name n face n commitee....i think she's juz so amasing...aft tt got training kit 2...den lunch...aft lunch we prepared for campfire...prepared skit n song for mrs chong...hu's leaving gb nxt yr...*sobs*...aft tt had training kit 3...... was falling aslp during it...haha...aft tt got dinner...den got special programme...e leaders did our songs n e skit...woa...dunno where in e world i got e courage to do tt skit...sumore i had sum parts alone...so scary...haha...mayb e thot of mrs chong gave me e courage...aniwae...den got campfire...it was a total diseaster...at least to me lar...-haiz-...me not good at planning campfires....not very1 had fun...like onli 3/4 of dem were actualli participating...sum said it was gd...sum say cos sec1s nv play along...[sigh]...wadeva lar...aft everything...area cleaning...den bed time....


:::day4:::
got up...washed up...den headed back to skol...for drill test...assembled in skol wif all e other ppl[non-campers]...campers had beakfast...den test time...all of us thot we were sure to fail...so sadded...aft test n all...waited n waited for e results...finally...e results are ready...tense moment man...n e end...all of us passed!!!...we are all gg on to e DI[drill instructor] course...yeah!!!...yippie...we were all so damn happi lor can...hehe...aft e results..i gave out e fotos for love platoon ppl...den dismissed...me n ying took cabbie hm...tired...

my bloody fone is damn it not working...
argh...
stupid fone...argh...

juz wanna tell u...
u're the most self-centered...
cold blooded...
heartless...
selfish...
idiotic...
jerk i've eva seen...

wonder when u'll juz stop n think abt someone beside u...or e ppl ard u...

wake up...u're not e onli person on e face of dis earth...

i let myself down again...
i cldn't help it...i didn't want it to happen...
tears flowed once again...
they kept coming...
neva stopped...
lonely and helpless...
at dis rate..i'm gona break down...
life totally sucks...

happi birthday to me!!!!!

today went out with my darling...
we went town...walk here...walk there...
she came meimei hse fetch me...we took bus all e way to white sands to take mrt...why?...all thanks to me n my big mouth...i thot 88 got go compass...so when she ask me,i said ''yes''...stupid me...
aniwae...den we took train...went to suntec...we had kenny rogers...den went walk walk...fed the kois at e koi pond...
den we went far east...walk sumore...walk walk..........took neos!!...first neo taken wif onli me n her...haha...
went cine aft tt...bought tickets for sharktale...cos korkor wanna watch....
aft tt went borders bristo for a lil drink...she had lemon tea...n i had gelato...lemon de...nice nice...hee....me wanna go there again...someday...
aft tt i went wif her to DG mrt met korkor...den i left for meimei hse while she n korkor went up PS awhile b4 heading back to cine for their show...



thank you so much for today...i realie had a great day...thanks darling....

today got drill in skol...so had to be in skol by 1...supposed to get up at 9.30...in e end woke up at abt 11.30....rushed abit...meimei still aslp...so din wait for her for breakfast...went to skol for drill frm 1 to 5...den went for dinner wif darling n korkor...at hougang mall...den at entrance of h.mall saw elaine...gosh...so long nv see her le...-grinz-

aft dinner n all...walked ard abit den darling sent me back...so nice of her...yup...-grinz-

parents not in singapore for today and e nxt 2 days...so i hv freedom!!!...yeah...aniwae...today met gui...den we went TM to watch movie...we watched sharktale...was a realie funny show...haha...enjoyed it...btw,before e show...we ate at sum realie cool restraunt...at centrepoint...aft e show den went wif her to heartland to meet juliet...den we walked ard heartland awhile...den meimei came heartland to meet me den we went home le...poor gui hadta go see doc all by herself...so sorry dear...din mean to leave u alone...

today was a tiring day....
went to skol early..at 8 for chem lesson....
den aft tt got amath...until 130pm....
was so damn tired...exhausted...braindead...
aft amath rushed home...quickly bathed..polished my boots..den rushed to amk mrt to meet jac to go meet up wif e others at orchard mrt...din even hv time to eat lunch....[sigh]....
met up wif them den we walked to mandrin hotel...met ms ho there...den we went up to e ballroom....started rehearsals...it was veri cold there...aft rehearsals went to celebrate angel's birthday...was veri funny...has sum fun...laughs and stuff...got cake....den ms lin sacrificed her hp and put it under e cake so tt when take foto e cake can be seen....haha....so nice of her...den ms lin treated us to chicken rice...yumm....haha...den angel keep asking for donations9for chilli sauce)...aft eating finish den had to start le...we were all so nervous...so many ppl out there...all frm so many different countries...
aft everything we changed in e ground floor toilet...funny sight...ms ho gaurded e door den we all change in e toilet...as if gb 4th coy booked e toilet lidat...haha...den yan hui 4got to bring flip-flops...so she had to wear nike wif her polo tee n burms...den she keep saying tt she look like ah sao...haha...aniwae tts wat everyone in 4th coy calls her wad:ah sao....angel's hair was a diseaster...frm nice nice spike up de...becum piak down flat de...haha...she was trying so hard to make it stand again...eventually was nice again...aft repeated wetting n blow-drying....haha...den she even call vaL to take foto...haha...den we all headed down to heeren...took neos...first time de not veri nice...so we took again...so we took 2 times...had fun there...cos got like 8 ppl inside e neoprint machine...den we try so hard to squeez into e foto...haha...

aft everything den me n jac went to meet mummy at orchard mrt den dad fetch us home le...***home sweet home***

itz pouring outside...
i'm all alone in e house...
itz so dark...
so cold...
so lonely...
looks as if it was already 6 in the evening...
when in actual fact...
it's only 2 in the aftnoon...
as i look out the window...
i feel as if i'm looking at myself...
the person i am deep inside...
the person that nobody sees...
dark and watery...

today need to go skol for chinese lesson...so i went and ended at 930...met darling at my hse...den she pei me go see doc...doc say i got lung infection...[sigh]...sounds serious to me...*shrugs*...wadeva ba...aniwae...aft tt me n darling went to take train and headed for changi airport...had to stand all e way until tana merah station...onli e feeder train to changi got no ppl...so got place to sit...

reach there...
went up to CARC[changi airport recreation club]...went there...sat at e café...veri veri cold...den ordered our lunch...yumm...den aft lunch went to play pool awhile...we played to games...i realised tt i can still play pool aft sooo long...haha...-grinz-...but veri lan still...haha...darling improved since e last time i saw her play...cos dis time...she can see betta[new specs]...haha...aft e 2 games of pool went to study...was abt 3 le...den study until veri sian...so we went to watch movie...we watched ''50 first dates''...veri funny...veri nice show...almost until e end le...den mummy came...when show ended...we went out to eat...walked ard airport looking for place to eat...finally decided on e new food outlet on 2nd floor...got alot of food there...but i onli ate cheese cake and seafood chowder...cos throat veri pain...i cant swollow...damn pain...eat halfway veri pekcek...damn pain cant realie eat...mummy there scolding n nagging sumore....was getting pissed....aniwae...aft eating...headed for e bus bay...took bus home...actually took to jalan kayu den dad picked us up frm there...den send darling home...den i came home too...

darling>>thanks so much for spending the day wif me...had lotsa fun...altho onli a trip to airport...but i had a great day...all thanks to you...thanx so much...everyday is different frm e other wif u ard...*smiles*